Pregnancy is a miracle. It is simply amazing that a female body can grow an entire human being. However, perhaps due to shame, we rarely talk about the fact that pregnancy is also a traumatic experience for most women.
The topic of pregnancy alone is often heartbreaking for people who struggle with infertility and are unable to conceive; people who have experienced miscarriages, stillbirths, or the death of their children; people who have become pregnant as the result of incest or rape; and people who have become pregnant unintentionally, which forced them to permanently alter their lives by raising an unplanned child, choosing alternative parenting, or making the difficult decision to end the pregnancy.
Even for planned, wanted pregnancies, there are often difficult medical complications; labor and delivery or Cesarian surgeries are physical traumas to the body; and many women struggle with postpartum depression. All women experience rapid, often uncomfortable changes to their bodies’ shape, weight, and appearance while they are simultaneously inundated with the societal message that they should not gain “too much weight” during pregnancy and that they must quickly return to their “pre-baby bodies” after their child is born. This expectation is impossible.
These traumas are often exacerbated for women who experience marginalization for aspects of their identity beyond just being female. For example, women in larger bodies, women of color, single women, people with female anatomy who do not identify themselves as a women, and people in same-sex partnerships may find it more difficult to find health care professionals who do not shame them and who truly understand their identities and how to best support them physically and mentally during pregnancy and postpartum.
Women are often embarrassed or ashamed of pregnancy-related struggles and the changes in their bodies thinking they are the only women who are “failing” to meet society’s expectations of women and moms, but you are not alone. These experiences are extremely common, and we need to talk about them. That is why I asked several extremely brave women to discuss their experiences with intersectional identity, pregnancy, and body image. Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing their stories. I hope that their experiences bring you comfort and solidarity.
If you have been or are now at least six months pregnant and would like to share your story about pregnancy and body image, I would love to hear from you! Reach out to me on the Facebook page, the Contact Me section of this website, or in the comments below!
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